earnestly /ˈəːnɪstli/

June 21, 2017 § Leave a comment

adverb//

why does it have to be like this? i promise you that everything can be fixed. it is amendable. you say that you love me but you aren’t fighting for me. isn’t love worth fighting for? you can try to push me away. but just because you stop touching a wound, doesn’t mean that it’ll heal immediately. time heals wounds, but scars will always remain. i hope you know that.
i told you that i’m 8 numbers away, hoping that you’ll come back to me one day. i offered you choices hoping that you’d choose me. i offered you choices knowing you never will. sure, you broke me. but right now, you are the only one who can mend me.
i know that you are hurting, but so am i. why must we make things so hard? you say that you don’t want to find out if everything is beyond repair. but why are you so afraid? i took a leap of faith, gave you my entire heart, showered you with love, and you don’t even want to try? the writer in me wants to turn our story into something beautiful, a beautiful memory. but the truth is, this is far from beautiful. i am not going to hide the fact that i am upset. so i am writing to heal.

but baby, if you want to forget everything, at least remember the beginning.
remember the first time you knew —
that you were the one for me and i was the one for you.

combustion

June 11, 2017 § Leave a comment

image

i remember the moment this photo was taken. furiously snapping away, i was awestruck by the sunset. it was a glowing collision of burning embers; the sky was dyed tangerine orange and pomegranate pink. what a magnificent sight.
you said, “wow, if only you’d take pictures of me the same way you take pictures of the sunset”
but what you don’t know is that:
a million sunsets can never take my breath away like how you do;
your smile will always be warmer than all the corals and indigos combined;
a sunset only lasts for 12 minutes, and i’ve always thought that it was too short. oh but how i wish i could trade a sunset for another 12 minutes in your arms.

i’ll never stop missing you.

equanimity

June 6, 2017 § Leave a comment

image~

you piece me together and pull me apart
yet there is no one i would rather give the entirety of my heart

~

yearn /jəːn/

June 6, 2017 § Leave a comment

verb//

i go to sleep, i wake up. i distract myself by writing; but it’s hard to write when my muse is you. i’ve almost completed the entire book of kafka on the shore. i manage to get a lot of reading done; but at the same time, i also read into a lot of other things. my mind tends to run wild. i thought that if i were to talk less to you, if i were to distance myself, i would stop thinking of you, i would stop missing you. but it only makes me miss you more. i see you in everything, i wonder if it’s the same for you? you appear in random intervals of my day. i miss you. i’m trying though, to miss you less. but i still miss you. when will this dull ache ever go away? when will this distinguished emptiness disappear? i miss you. i will stop playing nonchalant if you were to come back to me. i miss you more than ever, i hope you’re doing fine.

oblivion

May 29, 2017 § Leave a comment

he thinks that i tell him to listen to certain songs
because they are melodious

he doesn’t know that all of the songs remind me of him;
and i listen to those songs when i am at my loneliest

he thinks that it’s my first time hearing and laughing
to the stories he tells me

he doesn’t know that i’ve heard them many times before
and i wouldn’t mind listening to them for a thousand more

he thinks that i would have probably gotten
accustomed to his presence

he doesn’t know that when i see him i still get butterflies;
his very existence is my favourite present

~

i listened to this track while writing this poem:

notions

May 23, 2017 § Leave a comment

we tend to take too many things for granted
granted that they will still be there when we wake up
up, up and away
away from this cycle
cycle of never-ending nothingness and trivial matters
matters so much yet we just let the dust settle
settle for something more
more than what we already have
have you forgotten to remember
remember me when you least want to
to love when it gets hard too
too many times we overlook the good
goodbyes are no doubt the hardest to say
say that you’ll be with me every day.

ethereal epiphany

May 14, 2017 § Leave a comment

tinted windows with warm light seeping through the jagged cracks below each window pane. soft evening glow is reflected by the hues of the setting sun. the flash goes off, capturing the simplicity of the moment. you are typing furiously away at your laptop. pausing for a bit, you glance up and we lock eyes. smiling warmly, with your eyes getting all crescent shaped and crinkly, you questioned me,
“did you just snap a photo of me?”
“am i not allowed to?”
you grin, flashing the briefest of teeth. you stand up and stride towards me, crossing the room in three steps. i am immediately enveloped in a warm hug. chuckling, my voice is muffled by your chest as i asked,
“don’t you have work to complete?”
“yeah, but i miss you”
that was the moment i knew.
that you could become homesick for a person too.

if a home is where people belong, then right in your arms is where i am home.

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