yearn /jəːn/

June 6, 2017 § Leave a comment

verb//

i go to sleep, i wake up. i distract myself by writing; but it’s hard to write when my muse is you. i’ve almost completed the entire book of kafka on the shore. i manage to get a lot of reading done; but at the same time, i also read into a lot of other things. my mind tends to run wild. i thought that if i were to talk less to you, if i were to distance myself, i would stop thinking of you, i would stop missing you. but it only makes me miss you more. i see you in everything, i wonder if it’s the same for you? you appear in random intervals of my day. i miss you. i’m trying though, to miss you less. but i still miss you. when will this dull ache ever go away? when will this distinguished emptiness disappear? i miss you. i will stop playing nonchalant if you were to come back to me. i miss you more than ever, i hope you’re doing fine.

oblivion

May 29, 2017 § Leave a comment

he thinks that i tell him to listen to certain songs
because they are melodious

he doesn’t know that all of the songs remind me of him;
and i listen to those songs when i am at my loneliest

he thinks that it’s my first time hearing and laughing
to the stories he tells me

he doesn’t know that i’ve heard them many times before
and i wouldn’t mind listening to them for a thousand more

he thinks that i would have probably gotten
accustomed to his presence

he doesn’t know that when i see him i still get butterflies;
his very existence is my favourite present

~

i listened to this track while writing this poem:

notions

May 23, 2017 § Leave a comment

we tend to take too many things for granted
granted that they will still be there when we wake up
up, up and away
away from this cycle
cycle of never-ending nothingness and trivial matters
matters so much yet we just let the dust settle
settle for something more
more than what we already have
have you forgotten to remember
remember me when you least want to
to love when it gets hard too
too many times we overlook the good
goodbyes are no doubt the hardest to say
say that you’ll be with me every day.

butterfly effect

May 9, 2017 § Leave a comment

the build up of something great, you are the chaos in my head. small changes result in large differences. am i relying too much on you, is this the meaning of dependence? how do i live without you? but the real question is; do i want to?

missing you is my forte

April 28, 2017 § Leave a comment

it was only one month ago
that we were on our tippy toes
comfortable silence and careless kisses
thinking of you during this rainy weather
missing the warmth from your arms
snaked around my waist
we’ve got no time to waste
as every second with you is precious
when did i get so used to this consistency
i’ve never experienced so much emotional stability
as the rain is pouring down
i feel like i am drifting off to sleep
wishing you were here with me
but for now, i’ll miss you until the next time we meet

lens flare

April 10, 2017 § Leave a comment

shutter speed going
faster than the speed of light
just like how i fell

;

for you i squinted
my eyes in response to the
bright light which emits

;

from your smile it is
visible that you truly
are happy with me

;

i am not a photographer but i want to capture every moment with you

loving in convoluted ways

March 28, 2017 § Leave a comment

we are too alike and they say that you have to be opposites in order to attract but somehow we always connect and i wonder how long are we going to last are you going to end up like one of the men from my past i hope not i hope you’re different i hope my love for you will be sufficient and despite the fact that i constantly feel like i’m not good enough but with you i can get through the times that are rough; this courage that i finally mustered, didn’t want to wear my heart on my sleeve that’s why i’m so reserved; though you are the storm and i am the calm, it feels like you know me like the back of my palm, and people say that hurricanes only create destruction and i think it would be unbearable if one day you looked at me with repulsion; i always tell you to live in the present not the past, i guess i am taking my own advice at last and i know i am not the easiest to please, but right now your eyes seem so hard to resist and i just don’t want our efforts to turn to dust, therefore in you i place my trust so i’m just going to take a leap of faith, that you will hold me even on my lowest days.

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