loving in convoluted ways

March 28, 2017 § Leave a comment

we are too alike and they say that you have to be opposites in order to attract but somehow we always connect and i wonder how long are we going to last are you going to end up like one of the men from my past i hope not i hope you’re different i hope my love for you will be sufficient and despite the fact that i constantly feel like i’m not good enough but with you i can get through the times that are rough; this courage that i finally mustered, didn’t want to wear my heart on my sleeve that’s why i’m so reserved; though you are the storm and i am the calm, it feels like you know me like the back of my palm, and people say that hurricanes only create destruction and i think it would be unbearable if one day you looked at me with repulsion; i always tell you to live in the present not the past, i guess i am taking my own advice at last and i know i am not the easiest to please, but right now your eyes seem so hard to resist and i just don’t want our efforts to turn to dust, therefore in you i place my trust so i’m just going to take a leap of faith, that you will hold me even on my lowest days.

holding on and letting go

September 3, 2015 § Leave a comment

i don’t have any appetite and i haven’t slept for nights but how can i when i have no more strength to fight? its hard to think of you but its even harder not to i have so many things to say to you but i don’t want to come off as rude and how could you leave me without a word don’t you find it absurd, we were fine at first but our arguments got worse (pause to breathe in) then bam you left, leaving me quite depressed i gave you all i had but you left me feeling sad; its a common misconception and i really need to learn my lesson but why do i keep coming back for more when you’ve already closed the door, why can’t we compromise and why do i keep believing in your lies? i didn’t need a paragraph on why you left, maybe it would’ve hurt less if you summed it up into one sentence, maybe i would’ve traded sadness for acceptance (another pause) it hurts to hold on and it hurts to let go, why can’t i be numb from head to toe? recently i’ve checked my horoscope and they said that my life is like a kaleidoscope and it says aquarius: beware of boys and promises made at 3am in the morning and i should have heeded that warning but no, no, no i just went ahead i was so naive, who would’ve known that you’d leave?! i’ve definitely learnt it the hard way and my mind is in complete disarray but i will let you go eventually (one day) and maybe then i will find serenity.

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