yearn /jəːn/

June 6, 2017 § Leave a comment

verb//

i go to sleep, i wake up. i distract myself by writing; but it’s hard to write when my muse is you. i’ve almost completed the entire book of kafka on the shore. i manage to get a lot of reading done; but at the same time, i also read into a lot of other things. my mind tends to run wild. i thought that if i were to talk less to you, if i were to distance myself, i would stop thinking of you, i would stop missing you. but it only makes me miss you more. i see you in everything, i wonder if it’s the same for you? you appear in random intervals of my day. i miss you. i’m trying though, to miss you less. but i still miss you. when will this dull ache ever go away? when will this distinguished emptiness disappear? i miss you. i will stop playing nonchalant if you were to come back to me. i miss you more than ever, i hope you’re doing fine.

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oblivion

May 29, 2017 § Leave a comment

he thinks that i tell him to listen to certain songs
because they are melodious

he doesn’t know that all of the songs remind me of him;
and i listen to those songs when i am at my loneliest

he thinks that it’s my first time hearing and laughing
to the stories he tells me

he doesn’t know that i’ve heard them many times before
and i wouldn’t mind listening to them for a thousand more

he thinks that i would have probably gotten
accustomed to his presence

he doesn’t know that when i see him i still get butterflies;
his very existence is my favourite present

~

i listened to this track while writing this poem:

notions

May 23, 2017 § Leave a comment

we tend to take too many things for granted
granted that they will still be there when we wake up
up, up and away
away from this cycle
cycle of never-ending nothingness and trivial matters
matters so much yet we just let the dust settle
settle for something more
more than what we already have
have you forgotten to remember
remember me when you least want to
to love when it gets hard too
too many times we overlook the good
goodbyes are no doubt the hardest to say
say that you’ll be with me every day.

ethereal epiphany

May 14, 2017 § Leave a comment

tinted windows with warm light seeping through the jagged cracks below each window pane. soft evening glow is reflected by the hues of the setting sun. the flash goes off, capturing the simplicity of the moment. you are typing furiously away at your laptop. pausing for a bit, you glance up and we lock eyes. smiling warmly, with your eyes getting all crescent shaped and crinkly, you questioned me,
“did you just snap a photo of me?”
“am i not allowed to?”
you grin, flashing the briefest of teeth. you stand up and stride towards me, crossing the room in three steps. i am immediately enveloped in a warm hug. chuckling, my voice is muffled by your chest as i asked,
“don’t you have work to complete?”
“yeah, but i miss you”
that was the moment i knew.
that you could become homesick for a person too.

if a home is where people belong, then right in your arms is where i am home.

butterfly effect

May 9, 2017 § Leave a comment

the build up of something great, you are the chaos in my head. small changes result in large differences. am i relying too much on you, is this the meaning of dependence? how do i live without you? but the real question is; do i want to?

missing you is my forte

April 28, 2017 § Leave a comment

it was only one month ago
that we were on our tippy toes
comfortable silence and careless kisses
thinking of you during this rainy weather
missing the warmth from your arms
snaked around my waist
we’ve got no time to waste
as every second with you is precious
when did i get so used to this consistency
i’ve never experienced so much emotional stability
as the rain is pouring down
i feel like i am drifting off to sleep
wishing you were here with me
but for now, i’ll miss you until the next time we meet

petrichor

April 15, 2017 § Leave a comment

intro:
people hate rain because all they think about is the destruction it brings, the activities it prevents, the fun it obstructs. but they often forget that water is essential for a plant to grow. when droplets fall from the sky, people look up and ask “why?”. if only we took that time to reach our hands out to appreciate the rain in our everyday life; and this is why i reach my hand out to take yours, because you are like rain to me. i can’t help but experience a strange calmness when i’m with you and i don’t know why you are always so misunderstood, i wish the world knew, what exactly i see in you.

interlude:
telltale signs of rain; the toads have started croaking, the laundry is being brought in, the earthy smell of soil and wet grass, (just like rain, i am falling fast)
starting out as a light drizzle, we intertwined our bodies together, as the rain slowly fell, against the window we heard pitter patter, the rhythms of our hearts joined as one, the slow rise and fall of your chest as i watched you sleep, the rain grew to a downpour, i brushed your hair from your eyes and let out a little sigh, how did i get so lucky?

outro:
they say that life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass but learning to dance in the rain. i hope you’re not a storm cloud passing through. i would give up all of my sunny days to be with you. (forever)

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